Dog Psychology
No Couch Required
In the last chapter, I define and discuss energy as a concept
of communication between humans and animals. Whether you know it or not, you and
your dog are communicating all the time through energy, with body language and
scent thrown in for good measure. But how do you interpret the messages your dog
is sending you? And how do you know you are projecting the right kind of energy
back to her? It begins by understanding dog psychology—by going back to your
dog’s inborn nature and trying to see the world through her eyes, not your own.
Humans Are from Saturn,
Dogs Are from Pluto
For any relationship to truly
achieve harmony, it can’t be one-sided. The needs of both parties must be
fulfilled. Think about male-female relationships. When I was first married, it
took me a long time to realize that the way I saw the world as a man was very
different from the way my wife saw the world as a woman. The things that made me
happy and content in the relationship were not always the same things that made
her happy and content—and as long as I fulfilled only my own needs, we would
have real problems. It was my way or the highway, partly because I was selfish,
but mostly because I didn’t know there was another way.
If I don’t understand the psychology of the most important
woman in my life, then how can we truly communicate? We can never become
connected to each other, and a relationship without connection is vulnerable to
divorce. I had to read a lot of relationship psychology books to learn to see
the world through Ilusion’s eyes, and believe me, my doing so made a huge
difference in our marriage.
My goal here is to help you make the same kind of positive
changes in your “marriage” with your dog, based on a new understanding of your
dog’s true nature. It’s only with this knowledge that you can achieve the kind
of connection between species—that true man-beast connection—that you desire in
your heart.
The first mistake so many of my clients make in relating to
their dogs is similar to the one many men make in relating to women—they assume
that both their minds work in exactly the same way. Most animal lovers insist on
trying to relate to their dogs using human psychology.
No matter the breed—German shepherd, Dalmatian, cocker
spaniel, golden retriever—they truly see all dogs as furry, four-legged people.
I suppose it’s natural to humanize an animal, because human psychology is our
first frame of reference. We’ve been raised to believe the world belongs to us,
and that it should run the way we want it to. However, as clever as we humans
are, we aren’t clever enough to completely undo Mother Nature. Humanizing a dog,
the source of many of the problem behaviors I am called in to correct, creates
imbalance, and a dog who’s out of balance is an unfulfilled and, more often than
not, troubled dog. Time and time again, I am called in to work with a dog that
is essentially running her owner’s life, exhibiting dominant, aggressive, or
obsessive behaviors, and creating a household in turmoil. Sometimes these issues
have gone on for years and years. Often, a baffled owner will say, “The problem
is, she thinks she’s a person.” No, she doesn’t. I promise you, your dog knows
full well that she’s a dog. The problem is, you don’t know it.