Simple Tips for Living Happily with
Your Dog
Human beings and dogs have coexisted interdependently for
thousands of years. In developing countries and in primitive societies, dogs are
not always treated with the degree of love and kindness we give them in the
United States. However, dogs in those places don’t seem to have all the issues
and neuroses that they have here, either. How can we share our love with our
dogs without giving them “issues”? How can we be strong pack leaders without
losing the compassion and humanity that made us want to bond with dogs in the
first place?
These are questions that have no simple answers. However, I
offer you some practical tips from my experience with clients that I hope will
help you and your dog live a stress-free life, and thus move you toward the
highest levels of connection between two species.
Choosing a Dog
As I’ve mentioned before,
choosing the right dog is the cornerstone of a long, fulfilling relationship
between the two of you. Before you even commit to having a dog, however, please
ask yourself what your motivation is for bringing that dog into your life. You
don’t need to share these musings with anybody else, but you need to be
absolutely honest with yourself because, I promise you, you won’t be able to
fool a dog. Are you miserable and lonely and intending to use the dog as a
surrogate for human companionship? Do you want the dog to play the role of the
child you never had, or become a substitute for the kids who have just left your
“empty nest”?
Are you bringing the dog into a household to fill the
emptiness in your heart after another dog has passed away? Do you want to have a
tough-looking dog by your side for status, or a cute dog you can walk in the
park to attract girls? Do you want the dog to be a protector and weapon and
little else? If these are your primary reasons for wanting a dog, I ask you to
remember that a dog is a living being with powerful feelings and needs and
desires that are different from—but not lesser than—your own. A dog is not a
doll, a child, a purse, a status symbol, or a weapon. In choosing a dog to share
your life, you have an incredible opportunity to form a powerful bond with a
member of another species. But that opportunity comes at a price—the price of
responsibility.
Know yourself before you know your dog. Before you take the
plunge in becoming a dog owner, I recommend that you be able to answer yes to
the first part of each of these important questions, and no to the part of the
question in parentheses:
1. Am I committed to walking my dog for at least one and a
half hours every day? (Or will I simply let the dog out
in the backyard and rationalize that he is getting plenty of “outdoor
exercise”?)
2. Am I committed to learning how to become a calm-assertive
pack leader with my dog?
(Or will I let my dog walk all over me because it’s
easier?)
3. Am I committed to setting clear rules, boundaries, and
limitations in my household? (Or will I let my dog do anything he wants,
whenever he wants?)
4. Am I committed to providing regular food and water for my
dog? (Or will I feed him only when I remember to?)
5. Am I committed to giving affection only at appropriate
times and when my dog is calm-submissive? (Or will I hug and kiss the dog when
he’s fearful or aggressive, or whenever the mood strikes me?)
6. Will I commit to taking my dog to the veterinarian on a
regular basis, making sure he is spayed and neutered and has all his proper
checkups and shots? (Or will I only go to the vet when my dog is sick or
injured?)
7. Will I make sure my dog is socialized and/or trained
properly so he is never a danger to other animals or people? (Or will I hope for
the best and warn people to stay out of my dog’s way?)
8. Am I willing to clean up after my dog whenever I walk him?
(Or will I consider my dog’s poop to be someone else’s problem?)
9. Am I willing to educate myself on dog psychology in general
and any specific needs my dog’s breed has in particular? (Or will I just lead by
instinct?)
10. Am I willing to put some money away in case I have to call
in a professional for a behavior problem or rush to the vet for a medical
emergency? (Or will the dog only get what I can afford at the moment?)
Did you pass? If you did, congratulations. You’re ready for a
dog. If not, you might want to rethink your choice of pet. There are plenty of
homeless cats out there who need rescuing, too, and their needs are very
different and not as burdensome as a dog’s.